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When “money” is a couple’s issue, is there any way to get past it and still have a loving and supportive relationship, especially if every other aspect of the relationship is strong and loving other than the ways of looking at money (particularly in tough times)? This money question, from Jenny, describes a problem many couples face. Money issues can be especially intense because money discussions are usually about much more than just money. Continue reading »
Catch your partner doing something right and acknowledge it. It is easy to complain when something is wrong, but we tend to expect things to go right. Your recognition will be appreciated. What you pay attention to increases. That’s because most people love to be appreciated and will automatically repeat behavior in order to be appreciated again. This is a very useful strategy for times when you are especially irritated at your partner but don’t want to talk about your anger. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Only talk to your partner about what s/he is doing right for the next twenty-four hours. Tomorrow, discuss what you noticed about your thoughts and feelings during the experiment. Technorati Tags: Care of Your Partner, Communication, Relationship Advice
I want to share something that Jonathan wrote (Jon has reclaimed his birth name) as we were developing material to let people know that we are actively offering couples counseling again. It was a spontaneous statement of why couples should come to us for counseling. It didn’t quite fit into the webpage we were designing, but I think it’s a wonderful restatement of our lives together. “…we want to share what we’ve learned with you! Why us? There are hundreds of people offering relationship advice on the Internet, and thousands more offline. How are you going to know who to listen to, who to trust with the most important part of your life? All these adviser have credentials; so do we. They have all probably talked to lots of different people; so have we. So what’s different? Very simple: we have been there AND we have applied our training, knowledge, theories, understandings, etc., to our own personal and business lives, and have lived to tell the tale. We have been married (TO EACH OTHER) for over 48 years, and we have experienced, survived, and grown from almost everything that two people together will ever run into:
Sometimes we think that the only important experience we have missed is the rich learning of a divorce, but we have worked with plenty of people before, during, after, instead of, preventing it or encouraging it, We have also made our CD of our talk with marriage counselors about relationship development available as an online audio. You can listen to it right now I’m your computer, or download it to listen later. You can get it at this link: http://tinyurl.com/53wvyh (Jonathan’s words again) “Listen to some REAL experts talk about what REALLY happens in relationships, and how you can use the information to make a difference in yours.” Technorati Tags: Relationship Advice, About Relationships, Togetherness, Relationships
Family relationships continuously change — even if we wish they wouldn’t. Normal changes in good, healthy relationships still cause stress, especially if you are someone like me who sometimes fights the inevitable. Of course, when I really tell the truth, I want the good times to last forever and the bad times to pass quickly. If you struggle with the relationship with your mother, Continue reading »
Spend time working on your relationship as well as living in the relationship. Good relationships don’t just happen; they need to be watered and weeded, just like a garden. Working on your relationship means taking some time on a regular basis to assess how the relationship is going. Sometimes spending five minutes every day works very well. Some partners take a few hours every quarter, and others take a week once a year. Doing the homework assignments in this book also count as working on your relationship. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Talk about what working on your relationship means to each of you. It may mean talking about your mutual and individual goals. It may mean looking at what irritates you or what you need in order to enhance your growth within the relationship. Decide when and how you can best work on your relationship. Technorati Tags: Togetherness, Relationships, Communication, Relationship Advice |
