Mar 18

Speak in sentences or, at most, paragraphs instead of pages during a difficult conversation. Your partner will only remember the last sentence or two you say and forget the beginning of a long speech.

It’s paradoxical! The more you want to be certain you are understood, the more you talk to make sure you’ve said everything. The more you talk without pausing, the less feedback you get. The less feedback you get, the more worried you are that you are not being understood, and so you continue to talk, others stop listening, and you create the result you fear.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Have a conversation with your partner. Take turns, each of you saying no more than three sentences at a time. This is more interesting if you choose a “hot topic” on which you disagree.
This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

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written by Laurie Weiss


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