Schedule time to play together. Keep a list of activities you each consider fun. Take turns choosing an item from the list, and do it.

When you aren’t used to playing, it’s sometimes hard to figure out what you want to do when you have time to do it. Take time to make this list before you are ready to use it. Include activities that each one of you enjoys separately, activities you think you might enjoy, and activities you have enjoyed together in the past.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Take the time to make your list. Start by making separate lists, and then brainstorm together about other items you could add to the list. Don’t worry about cost or feasibility. Having outrageous items on your list creates interesting possibilities.

This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

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written by Laurie Weiss