Tell the truth about what you do and do not like or want. Trying to be agreeable when you really do not agree leads to confusion and resentment.

If you have been pretending that you love your partner’s favorite kind of music, and you really have to grit your teeth to listen to it, this would be a good time to gently talk about your own preference. If you have been going out with friends when you would rather stay home and read a book, it’s time to explain to your partner that you have been trying to be agreeable.

Your weekly assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Choose a situation in which one of you has been being agreeable without really agreeing. Explore ways to manage that situation. You might decide to take turns doing together what only one of you really wants to do or  to spend some time each following your own agenda. Look for your own creative solutions.

This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

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written by Laurie Weiss