Should I Be Getting Married? My Fiancé Doesn’t Stick Up For Me With My Mother-In-Law.

Caroline wants to know what to do because her future mother-in-law is extremely controlling and her fiancé seems to be taking his mother's side in every disagreement. She's worried about marrying him because he has told her that his family will always come first.

Caroline complains that her future mother-in-law acts as if she is in love with her own son, insisting that he spend time with her and devote himself to her needs. She is extremely critical of Caroline both directly and to others in the family.

Her fiancé's ultimatum is that there won't be any wedding unless she builds a stronger relationship with his mother. Why would she want to?

Whether she became involved in this process by agreeing to marry her fiancé before she met his family or whether she knew about his mother’s intrusive behavior before she agreed to marry him does not really matter. He has given her plenty of information that he cares more about pleasing his mother than about pleasing or protecting her.

The simple answer is to call off this wedding immediately. Caroline is being treated disrespectfully by her fiancé as well as by his mother. She may hope that this behavior will improve after the wedding but it is just likely to get worse.

Women who reported what they wish they had known before they married often spoke of being surprised at how much influence their husband’s family had on their marriages. They also spoke of wishing they had known that bad behavior tended to get worse. My book, 99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before®… Saying “I  Do” gives detailed information about their experiences.

Unless Caroline calls off the wedding she is setting herself up for years of abuse and probably a divorce. However calling off the wedding isn't enough. She also needs to examine her own vulnerability and beliefs that allowed her to get into this situation in the first place.

One more thing women reported is that they wished they had taken the time to get to know themselves better before they married. This is the time for Caroline to do just that to protect herself from getting into a similar situation in the future.

If you want more detailed info about how to create the loving, lasting marriage you deserve, check out this meaty Free Special Report entitled "Should YOU WANT TO Get Married? A Candid Conversation with Laurie Weiss, Ph.D." – Claim Your Copy .

This entry was posted in Abuse, Communication, Difficult Communication, Marriage, Marriage Counseling, Marriage Problem, Relationship Advice, Relationships, Self Care and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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