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Create a mutually loving way to communicate when one of you receives a gift that doesn’t work for you. Have this important conversation before, not after, a gift-giving occasion. The truth is we all make mistakes. It can be very painful to find that a gift you have carefully selected Continue reading »
Renegotiate financial agreements as your circumstances change. Changing paychecks, changing personal and family needs, and changing priorities all call for renegotiation. Renegotiating means looking at how you’re currently spending your money and whether this arrangement is helping you reach your goals. Then decide whether the new circumstances have led to new goals and whether a change in spending patterns is needed. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Whether or not your circumstances have recently changed, evaluate whether how you have spent your money in the past three months is helping you to reach your goals. This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
Share the power and the decision-making. Avoid the resentment that comes when one is burdened with responsibility and the other resents being told what to do. When it comes to decision-making, two heads really are better than one, even if one of you knows far more than the other about a particular subject. Taking the time to thoroughly explain your rationale for your decision to your partner will clarify all of the information for both of you. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: List the decisions each of you makes without input from the other. Decide which of the decisions are minor and which ones are extremely important to both of you. Review one of the important decisions together. This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
Rosanne has given me permission to share this correspondence with you. Thursday, 7th Hi Laurie, How does a relationship rebuild trust? My former fiancé and I had been together four and a half years when I sensed something was wrong, different, not right. So I questioned, who he was talking to, he lied to my face denying everything. Saying that I was being crazy. Well My fiancé (at the time) had been going behind my back and talking, texting, and emailing (from his work account) his cousin's ex-wife for over a month. During this time he proceeded to take her on a lunch date (during work hours), to the first place we had a date, and using cash from our joint checking account. I did not learn about the lunch date from him. She called me the day I found out telling me how 'its not a big deal' etc etc. Well needless to say I ended the engagement, moved into an apartment and tried not speaking with him. Can this be repaired? I do not have any trust in him. He says that it was not physical, but he was emotionally cheating on me. Thank you so much, in advance! Rosanne ************ Continue reading »
Confront behavior you consider dangerous or destructive. Describe your own feelings about the situation. “I feel scared when the car moves this fast,” instead of, “You’re driving too fast.” It’s natural to try to control a situation to protect either or both of you from danger. Unfortunately, trying to control (you’re driving) invites anger and resistance. Continue reading »
Say “Maybe” when you are not sure about something. Give a time when you will provide an answer and keep your commitment. When your partner is enthusiastic about something, you may feel pressured to make a commitment to do something before you are really ready to do so. Continue reading » |