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Create a mutually loving way to communicate when one of you receives a gift that doesn’t work for you. Have this important conversation before, not after, a gift-giving occasion. The truth is we all make mistakes. It can be very painful to find that a gift you have carefully selected Continue reading »
Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW posted an excellent article on taking the time to make New Year’s Resolutions for your relationship together as well as separately on her Psychology Today blog. She includes the suggestion that you ask yourself “What would be one or two small things that my partner and I could do this week that would make us both feel that we are on track to accomplishing our goal?” There are many suggestions of activities you can use posted throughout this blog. I wish you a New Year filled with joy and connection with the people who are important to you!
Request that your partner celebrate special events in your life in the way that is most meaningful to you. Emphasize exactly what you want and how you want it, or your partner may not understand your needs. If you want to be treated as if you are king or queen for a day on your birthday, and your partner does not think that birthdays are very important, you’ll have to explain that you want breakfast in bed and a choice of activities designed to delight you. If you would rather open your presents on Christmas Eve than on Christmas morning you need to make that clear also. You don’t need to do something just because your partner wants you to, but when you get this kind of information, you do need to negotiate about what each of you is willing to do to please the other. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Imagine what a perfect “special day” would be like for you. Tell your partner, in detail, exactly what you have imagined. Make agreements about what you will do for each other when those special days occur. Take notes and put them where you will find them to help you remember your agreements. Technorati Tags: Relationships, Special Occasions, Communication, Relationship Advice
Give gifts that your partner has indicated that s/he wants or needs instead of what you believe s/he wants or needs. You can give other gifts, too, but first paying attention to your partner avoids disappointment. Some partners like to give each other hints about gifts they would like to receive. Others are very clear and forthright about asking for what they want. If you have not been paying attention to your partner’s communication, now is a good time start. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it: Have a conversation about how each of you lets the other know what is special and meaningful for you. Is your partner’s method workable for you? If it isn’t, talk about what would work, and decide what to do differently. This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. Technorati Tags: CoDependency, Relationship Advice, Communication, Separateness Special Occasions, Relationships
Celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and holidays that are important to your partner, even if they are not important to you. Continue reading »
Offer special support to your partner during challenging family visits. Some people need more support in relating to their own parents and siblings than to their partner’s families. Probably neither one of you wants to discuss a situation in which one or both of you is going to be uncomfortable. However, Continue reading »
I have a special gift for you, available only on Valentine’s Day, midnight February 13, until midnight February 14, ET. You can download my popular e-book, “124 TIPS FOR HAVING A GREAT RELATIONSHIP” by going HERE. The link will only work until midnight Eastern, Wednesday, February 14. Technorati Tags: Relationship Advice, Relationships, Special Occasions
As Valentines Day approached, Allison found herself on pins and needles. Would Steve remember this time? In their 15 years together he had never managed Continue reading »
Create your own holiday traditions. You come from different families with different traditions. Choose what is most meaningful from each and combine them into something that will satisfy both of you. If you loved the holiday traditions in your family of origin, you may need to continue them to feel comfortable and happy. However, if you were bored or impatient with them, Continue reading » |
