Make Clear Agreements — and Change Them When Necessary

Make clear agreements about how to play with other people when you and your partner enjoy very different activities. If your partner hates the music or movies you love most, which other people is it OK for you to enjoy them with? How frequently? With how much advance notice?

Even when you agree that you do not need to do everything together, you may find yourself uncomfortable about the relationship your partner develops with his/her “activity buddies.” One conversation will not be enough to resolve this. You will need to keep talking about it to keep from resenting your partner’s activities.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

Have the conversation about your boundary preferences when your partner is out playing without you. HINT: If you are uncomfortable, examine the underlying cause of your discomfort, and incorporate that into a new boundary.
This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
[tags]Relationship Advice, Boundaries, Communication, Relationships[/tags]

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