Explain how a change you are requesting will solve a problem for you without implying that s/he is wrong or bad for doing what upsets you. After all, s/he may honestly believe that making beds is a waste of time.
Your partner may see no logical reason to make a change you are requesting. However, s/he might be willing to make the change when you explain how it will make your life easier, whether it’s logical or not.
Your weekly assignment, should you choose to accept it:
Each of you list several changes you would like your partner to make. Think about the most important reason you want that change made. Each of you request that the other make one change and explain the reasons for your request. This is not a guarantee that your partner will make the change, but it could be the start of the negotiation.
This is an excerpt from Being Happy Together: How to Have a Fabulous Relationship With Your Life Partner in Less Than an Hour a Week, by Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.