My Son Boycotts Me!

[A question from "Ask Dr. Laurie:"]

my son is 15, i am 54. i want him to be disciplined, but he boycotts me and his life.
what can i do to bring positive energy, love, into our household?

best regards,
Olga
 
[Laurie's response:]

Olga,

The more you insist that he do something the more he will resist you. He wants independence and to get it he may oppose your most cherished beliefs. Limit your battles to only the most critical areas.

He needs love and respect for his ideas and needs restraint only when the consequences of his actions now will cause serious damage to him or someone else in the future. Try asking questions that invite a thoughtful rather than a yes or no response AND listen to his answers.

To take care of yourself cultivate friendships with other parents of teens and trade ideas with each other.

You face a difficult challenge. I wish that I had managed that challenge better than I did nearly 30 years ago. Good luck and remember that in a few years he will probably become a responsible adult.

Dr. Laurie

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