A Marriage Problem Waiting To Happen

Many marriage problems can be avoided by waiting to marry in the first place.

A young woman is trying to figure out who she should marry. One boy is willing to marry her now, even though he knows about her past relationship and her parents are looking for a different boy. You can see her question at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20111216052631AAwUZLN

I didn't really answer the question she asked, but I don't think she's ready to get married at all.

You haven't said a word about what you want to do. You have not said anything at all about whether you want to get married or why. All you have talked about is what you should do. If you marry anyone right now it's unlikely that your marriage will be successful or long-lasting.

You need to figure out what you want out of life before you make this kind of commitment. Marriages work best when women marry men rather than when girls marry boys.

I've just finished a project of asking many women what they wished they knew before getting married. Most of them wished that they had known more about what marriage is really like. Many wished that they had known more about themselves before they got married. Others wish they hadn't been in such a hurry to get married.

Start by thinking about what you're really good at and at what you like to do best. Then talk to your school counselor or your favorite teacher about what you can learn to do in order to become an independent young woman who is ready to take charge of her own life.

I suggest you read my upcoming book, “99 Things Women Wish They Knew Before Saying I Do.” You can learn more about it at  http://www.facebook.com/99ThingsWomenWishTheyKnewBeforeSayingIDo

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