She Cheated On Him: Should She Stay or Go?

Lisa cheated on her long term boyfriend when she was really drunk at a party. She told the truth, has stopped drinking and he may be ready to try again. She’s afraid she will always feel guilty for hurting him and isn’t sure trying again is a good idea.

You can see Lisa’s complete question here:

Here is my advice about why I think she should try to heal their relationship:

Lisa, Did you do things you regret just because of the alcohol or because there was some other problem in your relationship? If it was just because of the alcohol and there are no underlying relationship problems than stay and learn to heal together.

Do you know that this Ernest Hemingway quote “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” is also true for relationships? You seem to have shocked yourself into recognizing what your real priorities are.

Don’t blow the possibility of renewing this long-lasting relationship for the fantasy of feeling no guilt. Guilt is a natural feeling that comes when we have hurt another person and that is exactly what you did. The purpose of guilt is to remind you to change your behavior, make amends and move on. Staying guilty forever serves no purpose at all.

The real issue is talking through what your ex-boyfriend would consider an action you can take to help him to forgive you. If he forgives you and you still have trouble forgiving yourself then a counselor can help you learn to take that step.

No mature person can get through this life without doing dumb things and feeling guilty and dealing with consequences. Good luck and best wishes…


My "Being Happy Program" would be a useful resource to help you heal and grow your relationship.

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